Understanding India – It’s People, Customs and Traditions

At the time of writing we are over ten days into our trip and every day we find ourselves learning something new about the people of India, their traditions, customs, religions and way of life. Being such a diverse country, every village, town and city maintains its own cultures whilst most of the time still partaking in the wider regional and national cultures. Having to this point only visited the regions of Delhi, Uttar Pradesh, Rajasthan and Gujarat, I cannot confidently comment on the whole of India, just of my experiences to now.

As a precursor to what is to follow, I’d like to explain that not once have I consulted Google or other information outlets during my time so far. I have chosen to learn from the people which has allowed me to come to my own conclusions, perspectives and assumptions, some which might be wrong. I apologise if I offend anyone reading this or if I have misjudged something, it is all done out of genuine fascination and total respect. We learn by being vulnerable and making mistakes.

Me and my friend, Harsh. Mount Abu, Rajasthan

The head wobble

Now I’d heard of the Indian head wobble, as I call it, from people who had previously visited India but I was not aware of how profound it is when witnessed in person. In fact, some of the older folk have become so inclined to wobble their head, for reasons I will attempt to explain, that they have become stuck in a perpetual head wobble – primarily those who work in hospitality. The head wobble is a non-verbal form of communication.

The head wobble has different motions but the most common is a neat and not over-the-top side-to-side. Sometimes the side-to-side morphs into a circular motion, a more subtle version of the Churchill dogs that Ray Winston used to bang on about in TV adverts during the late 2000s. The other common wobble is to one side only.

I believe that there are five different meanings behind these wobbles, four under the broad umbrella of ‘pleasure’. One, in response to being thanked – a pleasure to help you. Two, in response to hello – a pleasure to meet you. Three, during conversation – a pleasure to converse with you. Four, and probably the hardest to spot – it is a pleasure to see you. And finally, five, to mean ‘ok’.

To explain a pleasure to see you further; we have noticed that it is not uncommon for the local people to stare, perhaps because it is rare to see Caucasian people, especially in the ‘old towns’ of cities, as well as blonde hair (Kea). In British culture it is common to smile if we look at a stranger for longer than usual, a lot of the time to avoid conflict, but also out of politeness. This is not to say some Indian people have not smiled, most do, nor are they impolite – quite the opposite. However, it is common for people to also stare and not smile but to action a slight head wobble instead.

I believe that this is the same way that we (British people) would often smile at a stranger walking past, ‘It is a pleasure to see you’ or to express kindness to a stranger, even if their facial expression suggests otherwise. It takes some getting used to but once you understand the meaning behind the head wobble in this instance, as well as the curiosity so many behold, it becomes welcoming. I have no idea how this tradition started or why, but it is something I look forward to exploring more, especially as we reach and explore different regions.

Smiling whilst serving Panipuri, a popular street food dish

Beep, beep, beep!!

The famous Indian vehicle horn. I explained to some locals that I have probably used my horn about three times in nearly ten years of driving at home and their response was as if I had told them I had recently been to Mars – a mix of complete disbelief and shock, because to comprehend not using a horn three times every minute, let alone ten years is completely alien to them. But there’s a reason for that...

Initially I thought it was due to impatience and abruptness with no reason other than to try and rush others. Of course, I was wrong. In England we beep to express disapproval, annoyance or anger at another driver or to attempt to hurry them. Here, it seems to stem from the omission of a road system in the centres of larger cities. Our road culture is extremely courteous in comparison – overtaking on normal roads is rare and done so after some consideration. On motorways overtaking is done on the right-hand side only.

In India, beeping the horn is to let other vehicles know that you are coming. There are no rules to overtaking, or if there are they are not adhered to. The horn, and a flash if it is dark, is also used when turning blind corners to make oncoming vehicles aware of your presence. As you can imagine, in the city centres when congestion is unimaginable and every driver is letting the vehicles around them know they are coming via a horn, it is constant and when it gets like this it can seem to be quite counterproductive.

Imagine being beeped from every direction, where do you turn? Do you slow down or speed up? We’ve found that people just drive regardless but most remarkably we have not witnessed a single collision. It might be chaos, it might be overwhelming and it might be bloody noisy, but the people have acclimatised to it and as explained in a section in my first article, the organised chaos does seem to work quite well for those that live it every day. So, who are we to judge?

White privilege

Now this, again despite hearing and understanding that we would receive a lot of attention, took us by surprise. Well, the extent of it at least. We have lost count of how many photos/selfies have been taken of and with us and at times we have had to learn how to say no, not out of disrespect, but wary that once you say yes to one person or group, especially in a busy area, many more rush to ask for the same.

Selfie with an Indian Cricket fan

The predominant reason why this is so common for us and other Caucasian visitors is simply white privilege. Also out of curiosity. Many of the people or groups of people who ask for photos have rarely seen, if at all, Caucasian people in the flesh. This is mainly because many of those who visit popular tourist attractions do so from the countryside and places that Caucasian people very rarely, if ever, visit. The same way that people in from the countryside in England would choose to visit Big Ben and Buckingham Palace, for example.

Billboard adverts, images in shop windows, Indian television actors and many more examples show Indian people’s skin that has been edited to appear lighter or that actors and models in adverts/images/TV are wearing skin-lightening products – something also common in South East Asia. Kea has experienced several examples of young Indian girls, and boys, who had a fixed filter on their camera lens so that their skin appeared lighter in pictures than in real life.

Also, a lot of Indian people watch Western television and movies and listen to Western music. The other day I noticed that one man’s iPhone wallpaper was Daniel Craig as James Bond. All of the above contributes to forming the perception that white people are creatively progressive, civilly and socially innovative and ultimately wealthy. And sensitively, in relative terms to a large part of India’s social demographic, most white people are wealthy.

Billboard advert, Chennai

So, breaking it down into why so many show a great interest in us. Firstly, the genuine interest of rarely coming across people so different from them – skin colour, hair colour and texture, liberalness of clothing and other general values and different attitudes of the patriarchal system are just a few examples. Secondly, white privilege and the perception of wealth. And thirdly, which I have not done enough in-person research on, is from a limited pool of interactions only. That whilst many utterly detest and resent British rule of India (1858-1947), some fondly recollect or have generationally passed on a fond sentiment of the British Raj. Now I couldn’t possibly comment on this.

Perhaps England being the home of Cricket, and where it was invented, could offer a partial explanation into why we are so warmly welcomed and looked after as opposed to other European countries of mainly Caucasian heritage. Of course, Cricket is almost like a religion to the Indian people. So there are several other reasons as to why some of the local people respond glitteringly when we tell them we are English, rather than out of interest for seeing Caucasian people. Our friend Nate, mentioned in my previous blog, has started to tell people that he is German and not English because in doing so he receives a different response, one of relative disinterest.

Whatever reason(s) spark the fascination and subsequent attention we have had and continue to receive, it has been one hell of an experience for us - from zero attention on the streets of England to a basic version of Posh and Becks. I joke. Of course we do not think that of ourselves – we laugh, out of slight embarrassment if anything, to ourselves every time that we take part in the photos. Why would anyone want photos with us? Although, do keep an eye out on Indian social media as there’s no doubt there are a few photos of us floating about out there somewhere!